Memories Through The Looking Glass
by Moonlightrose1992
Summary: What if love isn't enough? What if it doesn't matter anymore and it all starts to fall apart? Will you fight?
1. Chapter 1

_**I am back. *Hooray*  
>I have to admit I didn't want to publish this story on because of all the changes the site has been through. I had decided that Nothing But Dreams would be my final story but seeing that people are still reading my stories and noticing that I have gained new followers, I decided that they deserve a proper goodbye story.<strong>_

_**So dear readers, consider Memories Through The Looking Glass as my final goodbye to . I hope you will enjoy reading this story.**_

_**ps. I am posting this story on wattpad (same username). If you can't wait for next update...I already posted 3 chapters.**_

**~ Prologue ~**

. . . 

Do you see them? Those three dots at the beginning? I should write a greeting so you would know that I am writing this letter to you and no one else. 

But what can I say to a person that doesn't know how much I care about her? I can't say _My love,_ not any more at least. How can I say those words to a woman who

despises me with every fibre of her body? 

I could start this letter with the mention of your name, just as simple as that. _Hermione._ But you don't allow me to say your name out loud so why would you tolerate

it when I use your name in words written on a piece of parchment? 

_Granger_ perhaps, I know that you prefer that I talk to you by using your last name, because it sounds formal. _Your last name..._

But then I would be using another name, wouldn't I? I have tried to tell you time after time. I wrote it on notes but you don't care. Not any more. 

I hate this, I hate the person that I have become. This is not me, it never was. I don't show emotions. 

You. 

You are making me feel all of this. And I don't know what to do... not any more. I, Draco Malfoy, am lost for words. 

And yet I have so many questions. 

Do you love me? 

No stupid stupid stupid, scratch that question. It is not fair of me to push you in this direction. I am forcing you into this. And I can't help it. 

I searched for the meaning of love, I could give you a definition from every sappy explanation that I have ever read. How love changes people, how one can't live without the other and the most important one: when you can still feel a deep connection with someone, even when you are miles apart. 

And that's where we are. 

Miles apart. 

Do you ever miss it? Miss me? 

Bloody hell, why is this so hard? Why can't I just leave everything behind, close the door behind me and that would be it...the end. 

I could easily go out and sleep with every woman I meet. I could hurt you so much without blinking an eye. 

But I can't. No matter how bloody hard I want to... I can't. Because I can't let you go. Not now not ever. 

Our memories haunt me in my sleep. Every step I take is a reflection of the path I already have walked with you. 

I don't even know why... 

You are my always Hermione Granger. 

I am going to ask you one more question and the only thing I'll ask you is for you to think about your answer. 

Did you ever love me? 

_Please remember me..._

_Draco Malfoy_

**and of course a thank you to my beta WisteriaMoon**


	2. Chapter One

Headache. 

The only thing she realised was that she had a terrible headache. Her head was spinning and even in the darkness that surrounded her, she swore she saw flashes of

light and objects moving. 

It took her a while to realize that her eyes were closed. All she needed to do was to open them, blink a few times and everything would be all right.

So she tried, and tried , and tried again. 

No matter how hard she tried, the darkness still had a firm grip on her. 

Frustration was slowly taking control of her body, she needed to see, she wanted to feel the sunlight shining brightly in her eyes. 

People must think she was going mad, probably even insane. A crazy person squirming around, moving her arms wildly in the air and kicking her feet. 

She could feel tears pricking behind her eyelids... At least she could feel something, so that must be a good sign. 

Concentration. 

Concentration was all she needed and then everything would be fine. 

She tried to lay absolutely still...if she only focussed herself on her eyes then perhaps there would be a chance for her to open them. 

Beep... Beep... Beep. 

What was that? 

Without even realizing it, her eyes flew open. She saw how a magical scanner was moving over her body, emanating a white light that filled almost the entire room. 

Where was she? 

From the looks of the pale white walls surrounding her it must be a hospital. 

But why was she even in here? 

She tried to remember the last thing that she'd done. 

Yesterday she had a nice chat with Luna and Neville in the Great Hall before she left them to get a bit of rest in her room. 

Of course she hadn't been feeling very well... they must have taken her to St Mungo's to be sure that everything was all right with her. 

As she moved to sit up she immediately flopped back down. She was still too dizzy. 

"Hermione?" 

The voice came from the opposite side of her bed but she couldn't quite see who was sitting there. 

"Hermione? Are you awake?" 

"Of course I am." Hermione was a little taken aback at the harshness of her voice. 

She could hear movement beside her bed, and the warmth of another hand taking hers. "Oh Merlin! Harry, wake up! She is awake! Harry!" 

Another noise of a chair scraping across the floor filled the room and Hermione could hear footsteps rushing over to her. "Are you sure." 

"Yes I am sure. She wouldn't be sleeping with her eyes open." 

"Ginny? Harry?" 

"We are here Hermione, everything is going to be fine." Hermione could see a huge smile spreading across Harry's face as he gently stroke her hair. 

"What am I doing here?" Her voice still sounded rough. She was trying to reach the bars of her bed with her hands so she could pull herself up again but Ginny

stopped her midway. 

"Don't force yourself." She whispered friendly before turning her attention to Harry, "Go find the healer." 

Hermione watched how Harry disappeared through the door, still confused about everything that was happening. She placed her free hand over Ginny's hand "Please

tell me what happened." 

"Don't you remember?" 

She quickly shook her head, urging her friend to continue. 

"Well, you fell pretty hard so I guess I am not surprised that you don't remember what happened." 

"I fell?" 

Ginny nodded, her eyes full of compassion, "Oh yes. Good thing that they found you in time. Merlin knows how long you would have been laying there if they hadn't." 

"Who found..." 

Hermione didn't get to chance to finish her sentence as Harry walked back into the room with a healer following closely behind him. 

The healer was an older woman with long grey hair tied up in a bun on top of her head. She was wearing lime green robes as uniform. Her eyes were soft and full of

wisdom. Somehow by looking at the woman Hermione felt calm. 

"Good morning, sweetie. Good to see that you are back with us. I am Madam Strout, your healer ." 

Hermione smiled at her,"I heard that I fell." 

"And a nasty fall it was." Madam Strout grabbed her wand and pointed it at the magical scanner above Hermione's head. "According to the scanner, there is no

permanent damage. That is excellent news." 

"That is good news. I suppose that I don't have to stay for very much longer then?" 

The healer shook her head, "Just a few more tests and if they are good I don't see any reason to keep you here any longer." 

Hermione turned around so she was facing Ginny again, "Did you tell professor McGonagall that I will be returning very soon?" 

Ginny frowned while looking at her, "Why do I have to tell Minerva that you will be returning?" She asked, confused. 

"I am sure that she'll want to know that I'll be missing a few classes because of those tests." 

This time it was Harry who responded, "Hermione, what are you talking about?" 

Hermione looked at him like he was asking the most ridiculous question in the world, "Hogwarts of course. Where else would I be taking classes." 

Ginny and Harry looked at each other from the opposite side of the bed. The happiness that they had felt when Hermione had woken up was quickly replaced with

worry. 

"Hermione..." Ginny hesitated for a moment searching for the right words, "You do know that you aren't in Hogwarts any more, right? You are working for the

Ministry of Magic." 

The room filled with silence before Hermione suddenly burst out laughing, "Are you sure that you aren't the one who had a nasty fall? How can I be working for

Ministry if I'm still in school?" 

They didn't respond to her. Instead they looked at Madam Strout; silently pleading for her to help them. 

"Step aside, dear." The healer spoke to Ginny before moving closer to Hermione. " I am going to ask you an important question, forgive me if it sounds silly but what

year is it?" 

"2012." Hermione smiled, wondering why her friends were playing tricks on her. 

"Oh Merlin." Ginny muttered in the background, her voice filled with fear. 

Madam Strout ignored her as she continued asking a few more questions, "How old are you?" 

She frowned. She was getting a bit frustrated that the woman was questioning her intelligence, "Nineteen." 

The healer turned away from Hermione and spoke directly to Harry, "The fall has had more impact than we thought." 

"What do you mean?" 

Hermione was looking at the scene before her. She saw how Ginny let herself fall on the chair, her face buried in her hands. Harry was staring at madam Strout like

she'd just hit him with the Cruciatus Curse. 

"What is happening?" Hermione asked, trying to stay as calm as possible. But she didn't get any answer. 

"I am afraid that she is suffering from memory loss." 

"Memory loss?" Ignoring the throbbing pain in her head, Hermione pulled herself up so she was sitting upright in her bed, "Can someone please tell me what is going

on!" 

The demanding tone in her voice caused madam Strout to finally turn around. "I don't think that it is a good idea to overwhelm you." 

But Hermione shook her head, "I deserve to know what is going on." 

She looked at her for a moment and Hermione was starting to think that she wasn't going to tell her what was happing to her when the healer suddenly opened her

mouth. 

"It isn't 2012 any more, dear. It's 2017. You were working at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement when something went wrong and you fell against the brick

wall. You have been in a coma for a week." 

Hermione felt how her face grew paler with every word that she was hearing, "How come I can't remember any of that. I can't simply have forgotten five years of my

life! If this is some kind of joke ...it isn't funny at all!" 

She was getting hysterical, her body started to shake and tears fell from her eyes. "This isn't true. It can't be! Please tell me that this isn't happening to me." 

She didn't notice how Ginny jumped up from her chair and wrapped her arms around her. She didn't hear how Madam Strout asked Harry if someone had informed

her husband that she was awake. 

All she heard were a few words being whispered before the darkness came over her again.

* * *

><p>Hermione awoke to the feeling of someone gently stroking her cheek and giving her a kiss on the forehead. <p>

She smiled at the feeling of the person's lips against her skin, and slowly started to open her eyes. She knew that Ron would be here...he was the only person who

could calm her down. 

"I am so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. Potter had told me to go home and rest...I shouldn't have listened to him." 

At hearing the sound of the man's voice, Hermione eyes flew open and her heart started racing against her chest. This wasn't Ron... she knew Ron's voice by heart

and this was most definitely not him. 

She turned around so she could face the man sitting next to her. 

There he was... blond hair, grey eyes. 

"Malfoy?" She said with disgust before pulling away from his hand. With a shock she noticed the confused expression in his eyes. 

"Hermione?" 

"Why are you calling me that?" 

"Calling you what?" Draco asked, trying to reach for her hand again. But she moved further away from him. 

"Hermione... why are you calling me by my first name." 

Draco shook his head as he tried to understand what she was saying, "What else am I suppose to call you?" 

Hermione shrugged, "Granger like you always do. Besides why are you even here?" 

He stared at her. Madam Strout had informed him that she was suffering from amnesia but somehow he thought that she would know who he was from the moment

she laid eyes on him. 

"Where is Ron? " 

" Why would Weasley be here?" 

This time Hermione rolled her eyes, not understanding why he would ask such a stupid question. "Because he is my boyfriend and he must be worried about me." 

How could she not know who he was? 

"Look at your finger Hermione." 

Confused Hermione did what he told her, she lifted her left hand and stared at the ring that she was wearing. "Did I marry Ron?" 

Once again Draco shook his head. "I don't think you understand." He said, trying to hold back his frustration. Without saying another word he held up his own hand,

revealing the matching ring on his finger. 

"What?" 

He gave her a sad smile at seeing the horrified expression on her face as she realised what was going on. "I can't call you Granger because that isn't your name any

more." 

"This can't be." She whispered with a shaky voice. 

"You are Hermione Malfoy."

* * *

><p><strong>Before you read this chapter I wanted to give a little more info about the timeline. The past is situated in 2012, one year after Deathly Hallows part two. I am following the timeline of the movies not the books.<br>The present is situated in 2017.**

**The story is being beta'd by wisteriamoon.**


	3. Chapter Two

~ Chapter Two ~ 

This wasn't happening...It couldn't be. Hermione was waiting for the moment that someone would walk in and reveal that it all was just a mistake, nothing more. 

Hermione looked at Draco without breaking eye contact, but the longer she looked at him the more her hope, that it all was just a mistake, disappeared. All she can

see was sincerity. 

This wasn't how she imagined how her life would be. 

"Hermione, you have to talk to me." Draco said softly. 

Without saying a word, she turned her head away from him as she shook her head fighting against the tears. 

He sighed, moving his chair a little bit closer; "I know that this must come as a ..." 

"You know nothing." She interrupted with a bitter tone in her voice, her eyes still fixated on a black spot on the white ceiling. 

"You are overwhelmed, and..." 

But once again Hermione didn't give him the chance to finish his sentence as she quickly sat up, slightly turning around so she could face him. 

"Of course I am overwhelmed." She spoke, ignoring the throbbing headache. "How would you react when you wake up in St Mungo's, finding out that you missed five

years of your life?" 

"You didn't miss them, you simply cannot..." 

"What? Remember those years? Well, that certainly makes me feel better." Hermione answered sarcastically. "I don't even know who I am anymore." 

She let herself fall back against her pillow, and placed her hand against her forehead. She wasn't going to cry. 

"You are my wife." Draco said, and she could hear the love in his voice when he spoke those words but somehow she didn't feel anything." 

Hermione let out a loud sigh before she answered him; "How can I be your wife when I can't even remember that I fell in love with you?" 

Draco didn't say a word as he stood up from his chair, making his way to the window on the left side of the room. Hermione knew that in some strange way she had

hurt him, that her comment had an effect on him. 

And she knew that her next question would hurt him even more but she needed to know. " What happened to Ron?" 

She watched how Draco clenched his fists, his mouth forming a thin line as he continued staring out of the window; ""Why does it matter what happened to him?" 

"Because he is my boyfriend, I have a right to know." Hermione responded without thinking. She needed to calm down or this conversation wouldn't be going

anywhere. 

He was trying hard to conceal his anger as he walked back to Hermione's bed; "How many times do I have to tell you that we are together now and Weasley isn't

your boyfriend." His voice revealing a hint of disgust. 

Annoyed that he didn't answer her question she shook her head; " And how many times do I have to tell you that I have no memory of you." 

That was it. 

The final breaking point. 

"You are doing an excellent job in reminding me." 

Hermione looked at him even though his voice sounded frustrated his eyes told an entirely different story. The sadness she saw only made her more angry. It

reminded her of everything she had lost, of the memories that were locked away somewhere she couldn't reach. 

How could he stand there playing the victim while she was the one who was hurting the most. 

"Do you think that this is my fault? Do you think that I wanted all of this." Hermione questioned him. "I had everything figured out, I knew how my life would be. And

suddenly I wake up with a life that I never even wanted." 

Draco nodded as he ran his hands through his hair; "I can't imagine how you must feel. But the people around you are hurting just as much." 

"You mean you are hurting." 

"Yes." He said without hesitation, "I am hurting because everything we build up together is crumbling down before my eyes and there is nothing what I can do about

it because you won't let me." 

"Please enlighten me how I am holding you back." 

Draco quickly turned around, taking a few steps as he tried to release the tension in his shoulders. "I am trying to explain everything and all you can do is ask about

Ron and look at me like I am some sort of disease." 

"Don't you think that is..." 

This time it was Draco who interrupted her; "Stop talking for just one minute. I know that it will take time but I can't help but feel like my heart is being ripped out of

my chest every time I see you look at me like you did when we were younger. You only see me as the boy that I once was, the boy who made the most terrible

decisions, the boy who hurt you multiple times. And you are so clouded by that vision of me that you aren't even giving me a chance." 

Hermione couldn't respond, she didn't even know how. She watched him break down before her and she knew that she had to say something. He looked so

vulnerable in his dark blue shirt and black pants...she didn't want to admit it but he looked beautiful, time did him well.

Her eyes moved to his arms and she could still see the scars of the battle lingering on his skin. 

There must have been something that had changed her mind about him...but what? 

Draco nodded his head; "I think you need to rest." And without waiting for her to respond, Draco turned on his heels and left the room...disappearing into the crowd

of healers and visitors. 

Tears started to stream across her cheeks as she cursed herself, with her fists she started to slam against the mattress. 

She was alone. 

Isolated in a life that happened five years ago. 

She closed her eyes hoping that she could trigger the memories that were waiting to be released. 

Nothing. 

She only saw how she was walking through the corridors of Hogwarts talking with Ginny. 

Another memory revealed how she was reading a letter of Ron and she was laughing about something he had wrote down. 

But there was nothing about her life at the Ministry or her life with Malfoy...it was all just a blank space. 

"Oh Hermione, what is going on?" Ginny's voice sounded worried as she rushed to be by her friend's side. 

Hermione didn't know how long she had been crying but she quickly brushed away her tears. "I can't do this." 

Without saying a word Ginny wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "I can't live a life I don't have any memory of. I don't know where to start or how

to act. It's just too much." 

"What happened?" 

Before Hermione answered, she took a deep breath as she tried to stop the sobbing; " Malfoy was here. He told me that we were married." She gently pulled herself

out of the hug ; " How can I love him, Ginny? After everything that he did...why did I fall in love with him?" 

Ginny gave her a warm smile as she placed a hand on her shoulder; "You might not remember it now but that memory will come back...there is always a reason why

things happen." 

"But my heart is telling me that I love Ron." 

Hermione noticed the change in Ginny's features when she finished her sentence; "Hermione..." 

"You have to tell me what happened to him." 

Ginny frowned, clearly deliberating if she should tell something or not. Hermione didn't really understand what dilemma there could be Ginny was always the first one

to support her and Ron, and as far as she knew she never liked Malfoy. 

"Please, I need to know." 

"He is happy." Ginny sighed. 

"Does he know what happened to me?" Hermione asked, not happy by the lack of information. 

She watched how her friend nodded; "He knows." 

Even though Ginny's voice sounded like she wanted to change to subject Hermione couldn't let go; " Did he ask about me?" 

There was a moment of silence as Ginny stood up, placing the flowers and chocolate she brought for her on the little white night stand on the right side of the bed.

"Hermione, I know that it's going to be hard and that there will be a point that you just want to give up but if you want to regain your memories you have to let go of

the past." 

"What are you trying to say?" 

"Ron is your past. You have build entire life without him, you can't just let that go." 

Hermione rubbed her temples; "I need time." 

"I understand, and you can stay with me and Harry as long as you want but remember time will heal all wounds, you just have to be willing to except the changes." 

After Ginny left Hermione had expected for Malfoy to come back so that they could finish their argument but he didn't. 

And she was glad about that. She knew that she couldn't take it if he was sitting next to her. 

Hermione needed time and she was grateful that she could stay with Harry and Ginny. She closed her eyes, tired of everything that happened today but instead of

having sweet dreams one sentence kept popping up into her head. 

_you are so clouded by that vision of me that you aren't even giving me a chance_


	4. Chapter Three

**~ Chapter Three ~**

It had been a restless night. 

Every little noise had sounded like a marching band playing next to her bed. Hermione could hear how the branches of the trees were knocking at her window, louder

and louder. 

Frustrated by the lack of sleep, Hermione had turned on her side pressing her pillow against her ear. But it was useless, she could hear the sound of footsteps

accompanied by the voices of the healers echoing in the room. 

When morning finally had come Hermione let out a sigh of disappointment. She had managed to sleep for a solid two hours, hoping that by the time she woke up

everything would be back to normal. 

She was still in a nightmare. 

Without any sign of hesitation she pushed the blankets off of her, ignoring the cold she felt when her legs were deprived of the warmth she quickly stepped out of

bed. Hermione was tired of laying on that mattress as if she was nothing more but a porcelain doll. 

She needed to move, feel the coldness of stone underneath her feet so she knew that she was still alive. She took, in a deep breath as she looked around the room

making sure that the door was still closed. Somehow she had the feeling that the healers wouldn't appreciate her little act of rebellion. 

Hermione made her way to the window, looking at the trees that kept her up all night. "Not so noisy now are we?" She whispered before pushing the window open. A

soft breeze caressed her skin, carrying a scent of roses and wet grass. She looked down, noticing that her room was located on the garden side.

Even though it was still early there were people taking a stroll along side the flowerbeds, some of them looking like they are seeing nature for the very first time,

touching everything that crosses their path. Others were sitting on one of the many benches, gazing across the garden as if they were waiting for someone to arrive. 

A pang of pain ran through Hermione's body as she saw the sadness in the eyes of an elderly woman, who was sitting across of her window. The woman was looking

at a picture, whipping a few tears away before pressing it against her chest. 

Not wanting to invade the woman's privacy any longer Hermione turned away, hearing a soft knock on her door. 

As quick as she could she walked back towards her bed before speaking, "Come in." 

Her eyes were locked on the door waiting for the person, who was standing on the other side to walk in. 

"Good morning miss Granger. Already awake I see. " Madame Strout smiled. Hermione let out a sigh of relief as she realised that she was holding her breathe the

entire time. She had expected someone else to walk through that door. 

"And you already took an early stroll." Seeing the startled expression on Hermione's face Madame Strout pointed at the still open window,"I am quite certain that I

didn't open the window." 

"I am sorry." Hermione answered with a little smile, "I am just not the type of person to sit still." 

"I am not blaming you. By the looks of it I think it is going to be a beautiful day." 

Hermione simply hummed not really in the mood to have small talks, she watched how Madame Strout closed the window a smile gracing the woman's lips. 

The healer walked back towards Hermione, waving her wand over her body. A bright green light lit up the tip, the results seemed the please her. "It seems that you

are going home today, Ms. Malfoy." 

"Don't call me that." Hermione answered without thinking. She knew that she had to be happy . The prospect of leaving the four walls that had turned her into a

prisoner was the most excited news she had heard in a while, but she couldn't concentrate on those words. Her mind kept repeating the name Madame Strout used. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I don't mean to sound rude." She quickly apologized, realising her answer might have been a bit harsh. "I just...I can't remember anything ...my life, him...it's all

just a blank space." Hermione swallowed. "I can't use the name of a man I don't love." 

Madame Strout stared at her, her smile was replaced by a saddened expression in her eyes. "I am not going to sit here and pretend that I know what you are going

through, because I can't." She sat down on the bed while speaking, taking Hermione's hand in hers. "But I do know that everything happened for a reason. You might

not agree with me now but your life followed the path you choose." 

Hermione didn't look at the healer instead she peered at the ring she was still wearing, a frown gracing her features."It's too much, my mind can't wrap around the

fact that this is happening. Everything feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from." 

"Baby steps, my dear. You are a strong woman, you will survive this." 

"Will I get my memories back?" 

The thought scared her to death. What if she would never remember the moments she created? What if her life stayed a dark blur? 

Madame Strout started to rise from the bed, releasing Hermione's hand in the process. "Be patient." And after saying those words she walked towards the door

glancing back at Hermione one last time, giving her an encouraging smile, before disappearing. 

Not really satisfied by the answer she received, Hermione grunted loudly before pulling the sheets away from her once again. 

If today was the day she would be able to leave St. Mungo's then there was no time to waste. She marched over to a small wooden closet that was placed on the

right side of the room and opened the door. 

A grey trouser, a white blouse and black shoes were the only pieces of clothing that were occupying the closet. She must have been wearing those things when the

accident occurred Hermione thought while taking a closer look. 

Her sense of style surely had changed over the years. 

Not wanting to think about it any longer Hermione started to take off the light blue gown she was wearing and grabbed the trousers. 

She was starting to close the buttons of her blouse when the door opened for the second time that day. Thinking that Madame Strout returned Hermione didn't bother

to turn around; "Almost done." 

"Going somewhere?" 

By hearing the sound of his voice she could feel a shiver running down her spine,not wanting to let him know that he had any kind of effect of her she quickly finished

buttoning up her blouse before she turned around to face him. 

"What are you doing here?" 

She could feel how his eyes were roaming her body as if he was looking at her for the very first time. 

"Well?" 

Noticing that growing impatient in her voice Draco finally tore his eyes away from her, focusing on something else; "I came here for the great food." He mocked,

"What do you think?" 

Hermione glanced at him, swallowing the words she was about to say. She wasn't in the mood to start a fight. "You didn't need to come here I just heard from the

healer that I could leave the hospital." 

She tried to ignore the hopeful smile that started to lit up Draco's face. "Well, good thing I came then. Are you ready or do I have to wait another minute?" 

This wasn't going according to plan. Somehow Hermione had hoped that Draco had decided not to come by St Mungo's that way she could have avoided the

conversation she was about to have with him. 

"I am not coming." 

Draco frowned as he heard the words that she had spoken; "You just told me that you could leave the hospital." 

"I did." Hermione breathed, her eyes looking down at the sleeping gown on her bed; "But I never said I was going with you." 

She could feel the atmosphere changing. This what it...her response was about to be used as fuel for their next fight. 

"You are acting ridiculous. I understand that you are having a hard time accepting that we are together...we are married, For Merlin sake." Draco said, trying to keep

his voice under control, "But the Malfoy Manor is your home, you belong there." 

She felt that the world had stopped turning, that her blood was slowly leaving her body and all that was left was a feeling of numbness; "The Malfoy Manor?" she

spat; "I would never call that horrible place home." 

"You have been calling it your home for the past two years." He waited for her to answer, preparing himself for another comment that would leave a scar in his heart

but she didn't. She continued staring at him, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes ice cold. "Stop being such a stubborn child! How are you suppose to get back

your memories if keep running from everything." 

"Perhaps there is a reason why I am running form everything." Hermione commented, her voice dangerously low; " Perhaps I decided I don't want to go back to the

life I had." 

"You mean with me, the life you had with me." 

"Why are you making this so difficult." 

This time it was Draco's turn to stare at her, his hands balled into fists. "The only person who is making this difficult is you. Now please enlighten me, if you aren't

coming home –" Draco started, making sure that he empathised on the word home before returning to his sarcastic tone, "- who are you going to delight with your

charming visit?" 

"Ginny told me I could stay with her and Harry." 

Draco nodded, clearly not surprised with her answer; "Of course she would. I assume that I cannot change your mind." 

Hermione shook her head; "No." 

"I thought so." 

And with that said he marched out of the room not bothering to close the door behind him as he left a baffled Hermione behind. 

She didn't expect for him to give up so soon. She though their bickering would continue for another fifteen minutes but it didn't...he walked away. 

And she didn't know if she was happy or mad about it. 

* * *

><p>Two days had passed since Hermione's release from St Mungo's. Two days since she took a step inside Grimmauld Place 12, the ancestral house from Sirius Black and<p>

now the home of Harry, Ginny and James Sirius Potter. 

The long hallway of Grimmauld Place was still lit by a large chandelier and gas lamps but the old carpet was replaced by one which was coloured in a beautiful shade

of caramal, matching the wallpaper.

The wall of the staircase leading to the first floor was stripped from the heads of the house-elves mounted on plaques. Instead the wall was filled with pictures of the

Potter family.

Hermione had noticed that there were only two rooms in the house that were left untouched: Sirius' bedroom and the drawing room which was still decorated the

tapestry of the Black family tree. 

Hermione was sitting in the bedroom that she had once shared with Ginny as she heard a soft knock on the door. 

"Come in." 

She watched how her red haired friend entered the room, her hair a complete mess and several paint streaks were decorating her cheeks. 

"You look colourful." Hermione grinned, earning a groan from Ginny. 

"I still curse the day dad decided to give James a typical Muggle present." 

By the mention of the young boy's name Hermione grimaced, her eyes filled with sadness; "I can't believe I can't remember your son...my godson." 

"Now, now." Ginny soothed, wrapping an arm around Hermione's shoulder, " We have been through this already. The memories aren't lost and you can always make

new ones." 

Hermione smiled, putting the book she was reading aside, and stood up from the bed making her way the large window in her room; "I wished everyone thought that

way." 

"Are you talking about Malfoy?" 

Hermione nodded; "I am still waiting for his reply, it's been two days and he just being an absolute idiot." 

"Oh Bloody Hell," Ginny cursed all of a sudden, jumping off the bed; "I have been so busy avoiding James' paint attacks I completely forgot to tell you." 

"Tell me what?" 

"An owl came by this morning, he brought a letter for you. I left it in the kitchen." 

Without hesitation Hermione quickly made her way to the ground floor, mumbling the word 'finally' over and over again.

As she entered the kitchen she saw the letter laying on the kitchen table's with his name elegantly written on the envelope. 

She was supposed to be happy that he finally found the time to write her back but the lack of further items that came with the letter made her heart almost jump out

of her chest. 

Her hands were shaking. 

_Hermione_

_I received your request to send over your items to Grimmauld Palace. As you probably can see I ignored your request since your clothes, books and other stuff are exactly where they belong ...at home_. _The only thing missing is you.  
>In short if you ever want to see your items again I suggest you come and collect them yourself.<em>

_Love,  
>Draco.<em>

"That moron!" Hermione grumbled as she crumbled the letter in her fist before tossing in aside. 

Hearing the sound of her curses, Ginny quickly made her way in the kitchen. "What happened?" 

"He refused to return my items." Hermione spat, her cheeks turning bright red of anger. "If I want it all back I have to get it myself." 

"He is just trying to get you to come back." Ginny simply stated, as she grabbed the crumpled letter from the floor. "He wants his future back." 

"I can't give him what he wants." Hermione proclaimed as she sat down on the chair, burying her face in her hands. 

She could hear how Ginny let out a loud sigh as she took a seat next to Hermione; "Harry is going to kill me if he knows I told you this." 

"What?" 

Letting out another sigh,Ginny rubbed her temples; "Harry has been talking to Draco." 

"I thought they weren't friends?" 

Ginny quickly held up her hand, shaking her head; "That isn't relevant. What I am trying to see is that Draco is so desperate that he is reaching out to Harry. The day

you told him that you weren't coming to the Manor he almost lost it. He stormed in here with so much rage I almost thought I had to kick him into oblivion." 

"I am not surprised." 

"He kept rambling about how much he loved you, and how he couldn't bear to see you slipping through his fingers. He made Harry promise him that he would keep

you safe and would make you smile again." 

Listening to Ginny's story Hermione's anger started to slowly disappear as it was being replaced by a broken heart. "I am hurting him so much, aren't I." 

"He has too much pride to show you how he really feels about the situation so he is acting the only way he knows how...like a jerk." 

Hermione simply nodded not quite sure what she was suppose to do with all this information. She was ripping out the heart of a man who loved her deeply, and she

couldn't magically fix it. 

A loud scraping sound filled the room as Hermione pushed her chair away. She was almost on the first floor when she heard Ginny's voice calling after her. "What are

you going to do?" 

She froze as she let the question sink. A simple question...and for anyone else the answer would have been equally simple. 

But to her... 

She needed time to think, and as she turned around she saw the panic in her friend's eyes. 

"I don't know."


	5. Chapter Four

~ Chapter Four ~ 

Hermione didn't know how long she'd been sitting on the edge of the bed nor did she know how long she'd been staring at the wall. 

Her mind kept drifting off to the piece of parchment, that was probably still lying on the kitchen table. He wouldn't give up. 

And she wasn't giving him a fair chance. 

In fact, all that she was doing, was pushing him and all her memories as far away as possible. She wasn't even trying to remember. 

Hermione let out a groan before burying her face in the palms of her hands. Why was everything so complicated? Why couldn't she just start over... a new beginning, a fresh

start without all the ballast of her past life. 

A soft knock on her door pulled her out of her self-pity. Reluctantly she pushed herself off the bed and made her way to the door. 

A small dark-haired boy was smiling at her, his cheeks were covered with the same colourful paint stripes as his mother's, earlier that day. His hands were wrapped around a

large piece of parchment. 

"James." Hermione matched his smile before lifting the boy up in her arms, "Does your mother know that you are up here?" 

The boy nodded fiercely but his eyes gave away his mischief. Ginny was probably searching the entire house, while panic was taking over her body. 

"Your just like your father." Hermione grinned before turning her attention to the parchment. "What is this?" 

James' cheeks turned to a bright colour of pink as his excitement grew, "For you." He murmured, bouncing up and down in Hermione's arms. 

"Oh well, let me see." 

A smile still graced her lips as she gently put James on the bed, taking the parchment from him. 

Her heart fell. 

And somehow it felt like the temperature in room had dropped under zero, her hands felt cold, her cheeks grew paler. 

Six people were drawn on the parchment, every single one of them had a big smile plastered on their faces. A black-haired man was holding hands with a red-haired woman

and in the middle there was a little boy; holding a heart in his hands. 

Hermione figured that James had drawn Harry and Ginny... his family. As she looked further she saw a man standing alone, but he still looked happy. She felt a pang in her

heart... Ron. Before her mind could focus on him and on what he was doing right now, Hermione quickly focussed on the remaining two people on the parchment. A blond-

haired man and brown-haired woman were holding hands and were surrounded by hearts. 

Draco. 

Her hand brushed over the drawing, following the patterns. So this is how people pictured her and Draco... in love. 

With a sudden realisation she felt hot tears running down her cheeks... this was getting completely absurd. She was crying over a past that she couldn't even remember. She

angrily brushed away the tears, then she heard James' voice, "Are you sad ?" 

"Oh Merlin," Hermione managed to say as she turned her attention towards him, "No sweetie. These are happy tears. It is really beautiful. I will hang it above my bed." And with

that said she quickly gave James a kiss on his cheek as a thank you. 

"James Sirius Potter!" Ginny's voice filled the entire floor as she called for her son, "This game isn't funny any more. Get your butt down here, righ now." 

"I think your mother needs you." Hermione whispered as James giggled before climbing out of the bed and making his way out of the door; with Hermione closely behind him. 

"There is my boy." Harry smiled as they walked down the stairs, pulling James in a tight embrace. "Your mother was worried about you." 

Hermione took a moment to watch the beautiful scene before her. She'd always known that Harry would be a wonderful father... the true legacy of his own father and mother.

They would be so proud to see the man that Harry had become. 

"He wanted to show me something he made." Hermione answered after a while, as she noticed that she was still holding the parchment in her hand. 

"And what did you make for your aunt Hermione?" Harry asked, genuinely interested in the work of his son. 

Instead of answering James turned around and pointed at the drawing in Hermione's hand, indicating that she had to show the parchment to Harry. "Look." 

Harry took the parchment from Hermione, it revealed the six people that were drawn upon it once again. 

"Well, isn't that..." He didn't finish his sentence, and Hermione knew that he was staring at the last couple. She watched how he slowly lifted his head, sorrow written in his eyes,

"Hermione..." 

"Beautiful." She said, not wanting to continue the subject. "I already told James that I thought the drawing was absolutely wonderful." 

Harry stared at her, not going any further. 

At that moment Ginny poked her head around the door to see what all the commotion was about. "Look who we have here." She said, her voice sounded fake- angry, "One day

I will use your grandmother's clock so I know where you are." 

James looked at his mother with big eyes, pouting a little bit. 

"How can I ever stay mad at you?" She smiled, moving closer to her son and covering him with kisses. 

"What about me?" Harry grinned, trying to match the pout of his son; which made Ginny laugh out loud. 

"Now how can I forget about you?" 

Ginny gently pressed her lips against Harry's while James was standing between them; making several faces as he watched his parents kiss. 

When they finally let go of each other, Hermione could still see the love in their eyes. 

And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't push the pain away. 

Not wanting to disturb their 'moment', she quietly spun around and made her way up the stairs again. 

Once in her room, she couldn't shake the image of the happy family off. Ginny and Harry looked so in love, a glow of content and peace radiating off them. They had everything

they could ever wish for... they had each other and their son. 

_And their memories,_ Hermione thought bitterly before clasping her hand over her mouth, shocked at the fact that she felt so much hate. 

That was it. 

She couldn't live with those feelings any longer. She shouldn't feel anger and hate towards people who were trying to help her, just because they had everything that she was

pushing away. 

There had to be a change, or she would destroy herself by repeating the question 'what if?'. 

Not wasting any more time, Hermione grabbed her wand and started to pack her few belongings. The last thing she took with her, was the drawing that James had made for

her. 

This would be the first new memory. 

With her cloak wrapped around her shoulders and a small bag in her hand she descended the stairs. She made her way to the living room; which was filled with the playful

voices of Harry and Ginny. 

As she walked around the corner, she saw both of them playing with James. Harry was using his wand, letting a few toys float in the air which earned him giggles and an

applause from James. 

It was Ginny who first noticed Hermione standing there, "I was wondering where you were. We turned and you were just..." She paused as she saw the items that Hermione

was holding, "Gone." 

"I've made a decision." 

"Harry." Ginny gestured at her husband to stop playing, and she watched how the toys fell on the ground before turning back towards Hermione. 

"Where are you going?" This time it was Harry who'd spoken. 

"I am going back." 

"To Draco?" 

Hermione nodded, trying to form the words she wanted to say, "I have to try. If I stay here I will never be able to get all of my memories back." 

"But why now?" Ginny tried to hide it, but Hermione could see the confusion in her eyes. She'd clearly not been expecting this turn of events. 

"I saw you and Harry. You both look so happy... Against all odds you made it. You built a beautiful life together. You have a wonderful son and I have nothing." 

"Hermione..." 

"I am not looking for any pity. I am just stating the obvious. Without my memories, I have nothing. That's why I need to go back and see what will happen. I want to know if I

can still have the life I once lived." By saying those words, Hermione became more and more convinced that she was doing the right thing. 

There was no turning back now. 

Her friends looked at her, knowing that they couldn't change her mind. They saw it in her eyes. This was the turning point. 

"Are you sure?" 

She nodded once again. 

Ginny smiled a little before standing up so she could wrap her arms around Hermione, "If anything happens, this will always be your home too. Remember that." 

"Thank you." 

Without hesitation she hugged Harry and James goodbye. She wanted to go as soon as possible, before she would change her mind. 

She gratefully took the Floo powder that Ginny offered her and stepped into the fireplace. She watched how the glittery, silver powder slipped through her fingers and called out

the name of her destination loud and clear. 

_To my old, new life._

And with that final thought, the emerald green flames surrounded her body, taking her to the place where she belonged. 

* * *

><p><strong>Another chapter of Memories Through The Looking Glass.<strong>

**I have been getting a few PM's from my lovely readers that this story was posted on another site...just to make it clear I am the one who is posting MTTLG on that site. So don't worry :)**

**And many thanks to shaymars for all your comments! I really enjoy reading them X**


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